Thomas Arthur Schaefer
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Sunday, July 10, 2005

Impossible Evening — I Can't Help That I'm Pretty



What an absolute nightmare.... Juke Joint A Go-Go. If we had only been kicked out I would have something more interesting to write about. Outside of Mike Grier dry-humping me on stage while I filmed him with my Super 8, the tasty drinks the joint was providing, and the never quotidian entertainment (Dames Aflame were abundant and titanic!!) — the night was total wash.



V.I.P seating might be nice... and yelling out that Burning Man sucks and Mr. Mike Grier pronouncing to the croud over the P.A. system that Burning Man sucks as well was fun. What is not fun is (shit...and it's early mind you) at least 6 different guy's grabbing on me all night long. You go boys... only you go over to someone else. The young gentleman sitting to my right, had his hands so far up my thigh I was about to introduce his teeth to his stomach... only I didn't want to start a riot. Stupid boys... stupid and stupid. Why do you all come my way... I am interested in the women — that's why I wear I little white pin of a girl with rosy cheeks and pig-tails. Yes, this is what I want. Yes, this is my dream girl — rosy cheeks and pig-tails — boys you need to fuck-off. And the one little boy who was trying to weasle my mojo pin off my shirt... you're so fucking lucky... I was about to kill you... just wanted you to know.



I did shoot some wonderful footage on my Super 8, which makes up for the molestation I had to endure... and I will say again, it was too much... too too much. Went to the event with Kanka and we had to leave at intermission because it was fucking insane.



There were 2 pretty gay boys fighting behind us, and Kanka, the gentelman he is, decided it would be best if he broke up the fight, so the show could go on.



O.K. now a word on Jack Daniels... I hate it, Kanka hates it — yet this is what they were serving.



I'm really upset with the entire night... while the atmosphere was extremely convivial and intoxicating, I didn't get to hang and chit-chat with folks as much as I hoped. We missed the second act, because boys couldn't keep their hands off me. But, we had very interesting converstaions with the Sister. Sister Louisa was there... two large tables right in front of us. Good guy, good guy... didn't grab my ass, but did give me a big ass kiss when I was over across the room talking to Chico.

All in all, it was a most triumphant event. — Schaefer

Pleasentries Are Bourgeois Bullshit For The Masses... Why Won't You Fuck Me In the Ass... Pretty Please.

P.S. — 6' 4" Clown in white face & black polka-dot outfit making out 'hardcore' with a dog (black and white spots) on the front stage... yes, I have it on Super 8mm... perfect lighting of course.

P.S.S. — Make 'BURNING MAN SUCKS' stickers!!!

P.S.S.S. — Kanka and I have just realized we started 'Fight Clubing' at some point in the night. Kanka has a nasty bruise on his shoulder. Sorry dude... you know I've been working out for the past few months — watch out nigga.



P.S.S.S.S. — CLOWN ON YOUR SHOULDER TIP: Don't stay in public places for too long. There is a good chance that a clown in white face and a polka dot outfit "will beat the shit out of you on stage" (bourgeois will assume this is a part of the show). The following morning you will realize this to be true an yet abhorrently untrue.

P.S.S.S.S.S — 'Wallet Fan Club'

2 comments:

lindy_luna said...

Damn, sir. What a drag. I apologize for our, um, "guests'" rotten manners. Some people have thick skulls only permeated by bad booze. Lucky for them "juke joint" was a mere moniker and not a harsh reality.

Lesson learned. As a wise person once said: Whiskey makes ya fuck or fight.

The next show you wish to attend (brave) will surely be on us. I hope you will accept.

Contrite Kid said...

Oh, god. I guess that I'm the gay boy to your right. Many apologies--it was a blur.

Hooch is evil.