Has It Ever Dawned On You That Car Accidents Just Might Be Art

DRESS COUNTDOWN: 17 DAYS
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OFFICIAL CLOSING COUNTDOWN: 9 DAYS
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11:18PM
So... the night has finally come to it's near close. Nick Cave is screaming — You better run to the city of refugee. What has been accomplished... what , what, and again for myself what. This evening I cut 35 large components and another 60 small components for the dress portion. Now these are just the paper base structures mind you. If it took me an entire night to cut these, it's going to take me days to cut the intricate patterning into each of these. I think... if all my reference materials arrive on time (I ordered 3 Korean/Japanese pattern books the other day) I'll be able to begin this arduous task by the weekend. The weekend.... ohh boy. This weekend is going to unfortunately consist of nothing but intricate die-cuting — die after die after die. 95 pieces worth... and that's just the basic portions of the dress. I still have several other portions that need ample time for detailed cutting including, the yet to be assembled jacket — the piece that still looms as the most daunting task. I'll have to bite both my bottom and top lip this week and begin to make the fateful steps of cutting and gluing the real thing together. The idea is to have everything built out structurally in real Monadnock paper before I move into the new studio space. There I want to spend all my time assembling and adjusting. The only portions I'll allow myself to continue building at that time will be the jackets detail pieces — patches, medals and ribbons. Only the decorations should be left at that point.
So how do I really feel about this project at this point in the process... well and well and well again. I've never tried to put my feelings about the art making process into a written format before. I'll hint at the fact that this project is reaching the point where I start to feel that internal surge I get with most of my work... a kind of creative half-court press the culminates in the final days of production feeling like an orgasm of emotive creativity and kinship with the work — I want to smoke a cigarette in bed with the final product.
I always take these projects right to the breaking point... Hitchcock understood this ideal... Grace Kelly's reckless abandonment as she speed around narrow streets with Cary Grant in 'To Catch A Thief' or hell... even my girl Ingrid speeding away with Cary in 'Notorious'. Something about the air of knowing no matter what you do, no matter how far you careen toward the edge of oblivion, you'll always have an inherent knack for pulling away at the last second and cruising forward into another more daunting obstacle. I think this is what drives me... the idea of danger around every corner... that death is but a lovers kiss away from your lips. There is something grand in the amusement behind danger & death — For me, it's the game of trying to beat it at all costs with the least bit of effort. I think it's a game I'll play for a long while because I know I'm the one who can cause the death a every turn. There's nothing like playing a game of chance with oneself... especially when the outcome is failure. And nothing in life is worse than failure.
When it finally comes I want to hold it close and whisper to it. When it kisses me, it'll be strong.

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4:23PM
OK — Tonight is dress night. The goals for the night are as follows.

- Finish rough alteration & fitting of jacket
- Cut all large sections for dress
- Generate stencil for die-cutting small dress components
- Generate star die-cut for jacket

That should keep me busy... I'll probably also have to do revisions on the freelance job I started this weekend as well. I don't think I'll ever get a vacation from this life.